From Gerry: This week the contestants are talking about the exercises they love and hate. I wouldn’t mind sharing the same thing, but I hesitate to put anything in writing because I fear my trainer Tony will use it against me. I said as much to him the other morning, but he swears my likes and dislikes are of no interest to him. He says he has a well-designed plan already laid out for me.
I hate: Planks, lunges, squats, burpees, step-up presses, lateral anything, leg lifts and the towel slide. Actually I’m just transcribing from my workout journal. The journal is a record of every exercise I do. I do it and Tony writes it down. I’m seeing a pattern. Pretty much everything Tony writes down, I hate.
I forgot to mention the stairs. I really, really hate the stairs … all nine stories worth. The stairs are Tony’s idea of “fun.” I don’t think so! Especially not at the end of an exhausting workout.
The worst was the day I ran out of the gym and into the stairwell to start my ascent before I heard all of Tony’s instructions. I had good reason to run the minute he said the word “stairs.” You see, a couple days before, as Tony was preparing to introduce me to the stairwell challenge, trainer Wade Merrill suggested to Tony that I wear “the vest.” The vest is loaded with weights, which Tony tailored to 20 pounds to mimic the weight I had lost to that point. Then, he declared, I was ready to climb the stairs.
My heart was pounding and I couldn’t catch my breath as I hit the third floor. By the fifth floor, I was not thinking kind thoughts about Wade. By the time I got to the top, I was more than ready to descend and tell Wade what I thought about his vest.
That’s why, a couple days later, when Tony said “stairs,” I took off running. Out the of the corner of my eye, I saw Wade’s eyes light up. I knew what was coming and I was NOT going to wear that vest again. So, I escaped. Even without the extra weight, the stairs are hard, but I made it. I returned to the gym with just the hint of a smirk.
Tony asked, “Where’s the ball?”
“What ball?,” I asked.
“The ball at the top of the stairs,” Tony said.
“There’s no ball at the top of the stairs,” I declared. I had been all the way to the eighth floor and turned around at the posted sign that read, “No admittance beyond this point.” I’m nothing if not a rule follower. Apparently Tony is not. The ball was another flight up, tucked around the corner.
You guessed it, I had to go back up the stairs, all the way up, to retrieve Tony’s dumb ball.
So, I really hate the stairs. But the thing about hating the stairs is they actually make other exercises less distasteful.
The other day my workout ended with 100 sit-ups and I was almost grateful because it meant I didn’t have to do the stairs. Crunches don’t bother me too much either … at least I get to lay down. I don’t hate upper body stuff, especially working my arms, because I really want to tame my flapping bat wings. I’m just not ready to commit to loving a particular exercise.
But, I really like what the exercises are doing. There’s a lot to be said for comfortable jeans.